OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
