where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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