dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
