i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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