Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Randomize
