I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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