Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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