Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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