You're completely useless in the revolution.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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