i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
