WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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