no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
