Where is the hickey?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
