I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
