im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
