I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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