Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
