HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
