what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
tell me about the eggs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
