"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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