I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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