He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
