allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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