god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
