weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
