Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
