so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
