it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
