I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
