Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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