she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
