Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
