yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
