is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
