She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
