She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
