I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
