you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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