I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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