how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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