last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
