Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
