Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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