Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
