I should be sponsored by Trojan
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
