I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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