3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just saw a hot homeless man
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
