I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
