question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
