WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
