We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
