Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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