why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
