I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
